some lovely mumbo jumbo.

runny, nose, cute pajama's, the croup. and lots of vomit.

One of the very few reasons I had any respect for my mother when I was thirteen was because she would reach into the sink with her bare hands - bare hands - and pick up that lethal gunk and drop it into the garbage. To top that, I saw her reach into the wet garbage bag and fish around in there looking for a lost teaspoon. Bare hands - a kind of mad courage. ~Robert Fulghum

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

so this past couple of weeks has been quite hard. bella has had the croup. i don' t know if i have even spelled this write, but the croup is kind of scary and hard. and it takes a long time to get over it. our water heater went out, again. my house is destroyed. but i have had quite some time to think about mothers. we found out bella is gonna be a big sister this summer! we are lucky. one thing for certain is i feel it is an honor to be a mother. a true honor. i know that i am lucky because i know SO MANY ladies who would be just as honored to be able to be pregnant. to be able to adopt. i admire such women. they deserve to have 17 babies if they choose.

i also know that among women there are prego wounds. who was the sickest. who had the hardest labor. i am not one of those women. i do not think i am weak by an means that i feel like i am going to die everytime i am going to vomit, or that i think i may never stop vomiting. i with great joy get an epidural when i have babies. not because i think i am weak or a sissy. but because that is what i do, and i am not ashamed. do i experience having a baby with an epidural. yes i do. we all have our opinons.

but i know that i love mothers, mothers who love being a mother. mothers who want to be mothers so badly, i am grateful for such examples around me. a quote "we have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. we have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove anything, to be what we are........we have a great responsibility to our children. find joy in them. don't overschedule them or yourself. you may not be able to take them on exotic vacations. it doesn't matter. when the day dawns bright and sunny, take an excursion to the canyon or park. when it's cloudy and wet, read a book together or make something good to eat. give them time to explore and learn abot the feel of grass and the wiggliness of worms...."

-marjorie hinckley

and with this i am going to lay down...and hopefully not vomit.